Today's session at the gym might as well have been an episode of "Pants Off, Dance Off". Well, that is a slight exaggeration, and I think the show illustrates a lot of things that are wrong with society. But, I do rather enjoy the phrase and I sometimes shout it when taking my pants off before bedtime.
In my new Not-New-Rules-of-Lifting-for-Women program, I embark on some non-interval, non body-weight matrix conditioning at the end of the weight lifting portion. This particular set called for burpees, dips (cuz I really wanna be able to do them), and DB swings.
Since the weight lifting area at the Lakehead University gym is tiny, I relocated to the aerobics room in the Hangar. It is accessed away from the main gym through an underground tunnel; it gets fricken cold in Thunder Bay. I figured there would be more space and I would be less of a spectacle. Unlike the probably perfectly nice, smart girl strutting around in her push-up "sports" bra (similar to below), I don't particularly like to be exposed.
Yes, she looked good. No, I wasn't jealous.
I just wasn't aware I was at a beach or a bar.
I set myself up in the room, started the timer, and began counting out burpees.
Preemptively, I had tucked my t-shirt into my tight lululemon shorts (that I could probably wear to a beach, or a bar...), as I am familiar with the shirt-riding-up issue. What I was not anticipating, however, was for my pants to fall down and then my shirt to ride up. I kept going on the burpees as the tender portions of my body were exposed and possibly my undies. Since no one was terribly close by, I didn't care too, too much. I thought to myself, "I knew there was a reason for lugging myself all the way over here!"
I took the time to hike up my pants and thoroughly re-tuck my shirt before I started on the dips. Eventually the burpees came around again, and fiendishly threw all my tucking efforts into my face while sniggering to its friends.
Pants Off, Dance Off it is. Burpees are sexy, right?
My second major thought was, quite logically, "Well, I guess I can't wear these shorts for this."
But then, as I was huffing and puffing through the set, I had an epiphany....
Eureko! I have inadvertently re-created an exposed skin situation I didn't think was possible! I should always wear this outfit!!! I should wear this outfit, not bother tucking my shirt in, and do burpees in the busiest portion of the gym possible!! That way, I will build my mental finesse by pretending that I am competing in a BJJ match where my pants have just fallen down but I mustn't lose focus! Hey, if that girl can wear a bikini top to the gym with no shame, why can't I be a warrior and do a burpee striptease??
Onwards and upwards. Onwards [pause] and upwards.